Lilmod, we have halachas and a Shulchan Aruch that governs such disputes. And none of your presumptions are justified by what Shulchan Aruch paskens on this; and it certainly is not “clear”, as you claim. Furthermore, at the end of the day, if necessary or insisted, a beis din makes this judgment, not a rabbi.
Regarding your disagreeing with HaGaon HaRav Miller zt’l, while I’m not going to tell you that you haven’t a right to disagree with him, if your disagreement isn’t based on someone of his equal, i.e. a godol with over seven decades dealing with family issues including gittin and being a community Rov, I think we can all judge for ourselves whether to give greater credence to him or someone who bases her opinions on a few divorced acquaintances she knows.