Gofish – I appreciate your post. It does make me sad though that you are judging the Chareidi world by Joseph (and your father). They do not represent the Chareidi world. I also went through a period of time when I was very anti-Chareidi because I had the wrong impression of what being Chareidi means due to some people I knew who were misrepresenting the Chareidi world. I eventually realized that these people were not really representative of what Chareidi hashkafa is all about, and that there are many other really fine people who are people whom I would want to emulate and who do represent Chareidi hashkafa for real.
Of course, it is important to find a community where you feel comfortable, and only you can figure out what that is, but I hope that you can learn to have an appreciation for Chareidi hashkafa and the really wonderful people who are true representatives of Chareidi hashkafa.
And by the way, from the little I know of Rav Avigdor Miller, I think that he is being very misrepresented here and I think that it is Motzi Shem Ra for anyone to be mekabel that he said the things that he is being quoted as saying. Even if the words are technically accurate quotes, when something is taken out of context and used to imply that the quotee meant something he didn’t mean, that is a form of misquoting someone and quite possibly motzi shem ra (both for the one doing the quoting and the one believing it). So I think we should try to not be “mekabel” that Rav Avigdor Miller would have said such a thing in this context.