Joseph, I just took my own advice and started to reread the thread (although I don’t have time to reread the whole thing now). I realize that there is something I wrote that you may have misunderstood. When I wrote that the Beis Din won’t refuse a divorce when one person wants it and the other doesn’t, I did not mean to imply that they can force the other person to grant the divorce.
I was referring to a situation in which the other party is convinced to grant the divorce even though he did not initially wish to do so. If the Rabbanim and/or therapists feel that the marriage is not viable and is harmful to any or all of the parties involved, they will try to encourage them to get divorced. How strongly they will do so will obviously depend on the precise circumstances and the people involved. And I am only referring to a situation in which conciliation was attempted and proven unsuccessful.
Again, I was never referring to the halachos of Gitten but rather the “hashkafos” (which obviously are also halacha, since being a mentch is also a halacha, albeit not a technical one)