Lenny,
My advice for you is to go only to specific and well experienced Rabbanim for sholom bayis issues. For instance, Rabbi Y. Jacobs, Rabbi Gissinger and Rabbi S.B. Cohen are well experienced in marital conflict issues. They will advise you which therapists to go to. Many therapists (as well as rabbanim) are unfortunately either misguided or naive in these matters and will cause more harm than good. I personally have alot of experience in this matter and am aware of the many pitfalls out there for one who doesn’t approach the right people when seeking help.