Reply To: Dating with a divorced guy – when should I ask about his divorce?

Home Forums Shidduchim Dating with a divorced guy – when should I ask about his divorce? Reply To: Dating with a divorced guy – when should I ask about his divorce?

#1197052
holy brother
Participant

(Excluding very extreme cases) You will seldom get to the bottom of why he got divorced, besides for above mentioned “his story” her story”, usually there is no black on white one word answer (relationships that are not properly maintained go down hill, not in one day). What you really want to know is, what has he learned from his past? How has he grown? Worked on his issues (takes 2 to tango). Even more important: How did he behave in divorce?! How does he behave in the face of conflict? And then of course how he deals with his ex and his relationship with his children. Preferably you should talk with his mentor/rabbi before you meet, and then the serious pinpointed questions should be developed as you meet, if there is something you see, then do your research. Research means asking mature people that know the story firsthand, in cases of conflict, if your going to ask his enemies, your better off dropping him, as you will never receive accurate information. Marrying someone with life experience that has learned from their mistakes gives you more chances for success (not addressing the many other possible complications of second marriage).