Fun things to do on the first day of class
This is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class.
Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t wear it out!”
Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether he was ever in your father’s class.
Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention to pursue a career in measurements and units.
Sing your questions.
Speak only in rhymes and hum during class.
When the professor calls roll, after each name scream “THAT’S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry.”
Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O’Reilly.
Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you’ve done so.
Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.
Address the professor as “your excellency”.
Shout “WOW!” after every sentence of the lecture.
Bring a mirror and spend the lecture writing on your face.
Ask whether you have to come to class.
Bring a “seeing eye rooster” to class.
Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, “Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?” Become aggitated when the professor can’t understand you.
Relive your school days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
Watch the professor through binoculars.
Ask to introduce your “invisible friend” in the empty seat beside you, and ask for one extra copy of each handout.
When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream “AAAGH! MY EYES!”
Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it’s Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
Sit in the front row reading the professor’s graduate thesis and snickering.
As soon as the first bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board. Ignore the professor’s reply and proceed to do so anyway.
Claim that you wrote the class text book.
Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream “IMPOSTER!”
Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write “Signup Sheet #5” at the top, and start passing it around the room.
Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the professor answers.
Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, “Can you spell that?”
Disassemble your pen. “Accidently” propel pieces across the room while playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. Repeat.
Wink at the professor every few minutes.
In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in superstitions.
Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.
Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of ancient Greek trade routes down farther because you can’t see Macedonia.