Reply To: Shidduchim – asking the girl first

fineshcmecker -when people first starting talking about the shidduch crisis and started trying to come up with reasons and solutions (this was around 2004-2006), and there were lots of letters to the Yated about it, one possibility raised was that the reason why there seem to be more boys than girls is davka because the names go to the boys first, so they get lists of names, and then the girl only hears about the boy if he says yes to her.

So one solution raised was to have the names go to the girls first. People claim that the girls don’t want that because they are more sensitive and have a harder time handling rejection. Personally, I’m not sure that’s true. There are different types of sensitivity and I have a feeling that boys might be more sensitive than girls in some ways. In any case, the girls can’t have it both ways. You can’t complain that you don’t get names but then insist that the names go to the boys first because you’re more sensitive.