Reply To: Shidduchim – asking the girl first

“I am not saying your way is wrong or that the shaddchan doesn’t do that, just that after the boy says yes the girls doesn’t have much time to check references prior to the first date. Take time and the boy moves on to the next girl. The Shadchan because boys are in short supply wants to make sure he is willing before arranging a shidduch, otherwise it’s a waste of time.”

That’s the point – it’s because the boys are contacted first that the girls are pressurred to give an answer first and made to feel that boys are in short supply (even though there are really as many boys as girls). If the names came to the girls first, the girls would be in short supply and the boys would feel pressurred to give an answer first.