BigGolem, Thanks for your vote of support! Much appreciated!
I could be wrong, but I really don’t think that most girls get that message. I think it was because of the places I was in and the people I knew.
Specifically, (without getting too specific), I was surrounded by people who were “mischareid” types – meaning people who did not grow up Yeshivish but were Yeshivish wannabes and had really messed up ideas about what being Yeshivish means.
Having also spent a lot of time in the Yeshivish world (both earlier and later than the era I am referring to), I do not find these attitudes to be prevalent in the Yeshivish world. I think that is because in the Yeshivish world people are more confident about their hashakafas than people who are Yeshivish -wannabes and they don’t feel a need to prove themselves.
But those were the circles I found myself in during those years, and I had no way to get out of them until much later on. Boruch Hashem, I did manage eventually to find my way to Yeshivish society where I encountered people who did not think that way and I managed to unbrainwash myself. But I did have a hard time for many years. Even if you know you are brainwashed (which I guess means you are not really brainwashed), it is very hard to unbrainwash yourself without a support system.