If I really didn’t want to, I would ask R’ Shteinman what to do, and if he says to listen to R’ Chaim, then I would.
But if anyone of a lesser status said that, I wouldn’t listen. MAYBE if the person were almost as great as R’ Chaim, I would ask R’ Chaim or R’ Shteinman what to do.
But I think it’s a totally theoretical question because I don’t think it would happen. Every question I’ve asked R’ Chaim about shidduchim so far had the same response: “?? ???? ????”
This was probably because he knew with his ruach hakodesh that that is what I needed to hear because most of my life I have been bombarded by people telling me to do what they want and not what I want.
Which derech agav,is what concerns me about this thread in the first place – I know how much I have suffered in my life from feeling like I had to listen to people whom I didn’t have to listen to – and I can see other girls who are like me getting the wrong impression from this thread, and it could potentially have really bad repercussions.