Reply To: Confusing halacha, minhag, chumra and shtus*

Lightbrite, check with your Rav, light accordingly, say the bracha on the candles, and then feel free to add all the bakashot that you want to, for all your family members. It is a very special moment, take as long as you want, shed as many tears as you need to, connect to all of your family and the long tradition of Jewish women lighting shabbos candles throughout the generations. And don’t forget to pray for yourself as well.