Reply To: Buying a Newer Car -ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE-

I don’t know. I’ve done this before. Several months ago. I’m tired of thinking about it. Been thinking in circles.

When it comes time, and someone B”H will be here to help me actually go car shopping, I want to know what I want.

The whole confusion is really envisioning where I want to be down the road.

I listened to a shiur on shidduchim today. This rabbi is very different from Rabbi Manis Friedman, who says that your spouse has already been decided for you and to put your list away. This rabbi from the shiur is really big on making a list and focusing on whether or not this person fits your list and your vision.

One thing he said is to consider who you actually are. If someone doesn’t like waking up early and learning, one shouldn’t just marry a woman who expects her husband to be davening in a minyan three times a day. He may say that he really is this good learner inside, and the right woman will bring that out in him, but generally he isn’t being honest with himself.

So am I like that boy, thinking about needing a car to juggle a future family or life, while today I really only am at this level?

Or…

Is it like growing, where today I would have never guessed that I would be doing what I am doing, living where I am living, and loving the universe as it is, had I mapped out my life five years ago. No way no way would I have ever believed that I would have come this far. So why limit myself and think that all I deserve is a muznach rechev/mechoneet that needs frequent maintenance and does shaky things? Why not just accept that just because I have a less than metzooyan car today does not mean that tomorrow I won’t be capable of something better.

Especially now I want to grow and fulfill my purpose in this universe, as Hashem Willed for me.

Part of that is getting over the hurdle of finding a new shell for myself, new vehicle, and is this something like making a Must Have list for Shidduchim? Or is it pre-determined and do I need to pray and trust that the right car for me will come, even if it doesn’t look like it right away?