Reply To: Lashon hara question

Example of flexibility and open-minded in my eyes…

In one situation, I had a rabbi and rebbetzin tell me the same thing but the way that they framed it made all the difference.

One that said that “This is Wrong. I don’t do it because it was wrong and I cannot do that.” That was it. I didn’t get answers. Just felt blocked.

Someone else said that “This is wrong and so okay what is happening now will pass and soon I will do what is right.” This person understood that I did not live in a bubble and said that this is “just for now” and encouraged me to do what was best for my neshama and wellbeing.

I felt more comfortable coming back to the second one.

A third person and also LOR, about the same topic but months later when things thank G-d changed, said that what happened in the past was wrong and that there is something better for me and I need to protect myself from being in that situation again. Imho that was also more open-minded and sensitive to how I came to be in that situation in the first place. It helped me heal. That approach made a huge difference.