Rebshidduch, just want to point out that lightbrite is in a very different stage of life than you are (in many ways) and the fact that it may be okay for her to talk to a guy does not necessarily mean that it is okay for you.
Something can be assur for one person and muttar for another. From what I know of you and Lightbrite (including your ages, backgrounds, personalities, mindsets,etc.) I think that it was probably mutar for LB to talk to this guy and that it is assur for you to talk to guys.
The main difference is that a 20 year old girl talking to a guy is very different from a girl in her 30’s talking to a guy.