“AND WHAT I SAID SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN OFFENSIVE TO ANYONE, IN GROUP OR NOT,”
“Unfortunately, we don’t get to be the arbiter of what another person finds hurtful or offensive.”
“Would you be okay with it if you were there while someone mentioned Jews in a neutral way and a goy got up and said wow that’s offensive some of us have to deal with Jewish people every day?”
That’s actually an interesting discussion. I once mentioned to a friend that someone once was offended by something I did, and I don’t think she should have been. My friend responded that you can’t say that someone shouldn’t be offended by something.
But I think she is wrong. If someone tells me that she is offended by the fact that I wear shoes, she is wrong, and I should not stop wearing shoes and I should not feel bad about it.
On the other hand, it is important to be sensitive to other’s feelings (even when it makes no sense to you) and try not to do things that offend them when possible. But that has to be balanced by a realistic sense of the extent to which it makes sense for you to take their feelings into account without hurting yourself.