“I sometimes find it very difficult to justify asking for anything when my very existence is the result of not following the mitzvos and that, because of this, I am a completely wicked person with no opportunity to actually go back and correct matters.”
I don’t understand. Your father was a non-Jew, or your parents didn’t observe Taharas haMishpacha? Why would you think such things make you a wicked person? Every person has the potential to overcome their yetzer hara and become close to Hashem. After all, each person is judged according to their deeds (Tehillim), and according to the effort is the reward (Pirkei Avos).
“God takes pride even in the most insignificant Jew, even in the sinners of Israel, so long as they go by the name Jew. There is a special pride which God takes in each individual Jew. One should therefore never despair of God’s help regardless of any wrong one may have done. God’s love for him will never cease, and he can still return to God. T he main thing is to be attached to the Tzaddik and his followers, because they possess the ability to uncover the goodness and glory which is present even in the worst people and return everything to God” (Likutei Eitzos).
“When you consider the utter greatness of God and His unfathomable exaltedness, the merest movement, the merest glance of ours which is slightly out of place in relation to the glory of God, should make us liable to whatever we should be liable to, God forbid. But He is filled with love and the whole world is filled with His kindness. God desires this world very greatly. So my beloved friend and brother, my very soul and heart, take courage and trust in God. He will not abandon you. Whatever you experience is all for your good. Rely upon God’s abundant love, which is absolutely without end. There is no limit to the greatness of God. Somehow everything will be transformed to good. Even the intentional sins will be transformed into merits. Only remain firm” (Ibid)
“Prayer helps for everything. Even if a person is unable to study Torah he will be able to do so if he prays for it. Everything good can be attained through prayer: Torah, devotion, holiness… everything good in all the worlds. Amen” (Ibid.)