Mama1 – I’m totally on your side. I think there are systemic problems, which we both brought up. I think that the school’s lack of mentschlichkeit is proof of the issues. There are MANY misplaced priorities in the frum world. I often tell my children, I don’t care about the report card – I care about the Middos. Fail a test and don’t cheat; Respect the Rebbe/Teacher/Principal/Everyone, no matter what your friends are doing; Don’t follow blindly. I show them examples of cases that people all did something wrong en mass.
Derech Eretz is THE foundation of Torah. You cannot be built on top of a rotten or missing foundation. Until everyone is on the same page about this, we will get nowhere as a nation. You may not crack a random stranger’s cell phone, because you believe it’s a sin to use one. You may not block the roads and cause hardship/danger/damage to people in protest of government policies. You may not throw rocks at people who violate Shabbos. You may not publicly embarrass people for talking in Shul. You may not block people’s driveways even for “a minute”. You may not double park, blocking cars in, while you shop or get a manicure. I can go on and on.
We are in sore need of a re-prioritization of what TRUE Torah Judaism is. It’s NOT Kana’us; it’s not trying to up-frum the next person; it’s not bleaching the clothes of women who you believe are not dressed properly; nor is it women principals lifting girls’ skirts to check if they are wearing tights or socks. It’s systemic. It needs fixing. It needs to be preached week after week, probably much more than any “talking in shul” initiative. It’s the 3 weeks…one can only hope.