Clearly the OP was absolutely correct in first asking a shaila and NOT calling the secular authorities, as evidenced by the Psak Halacha he received in response to the shaila that he must NOT call the authorities.
Police Officers are NOT experts in determining whether there was domestic violence. If they THINK, in their non-expert opinion which can easily be wrong, they will make an arrest in mandatory arrest states such at New York. Therefore calling the police unjustifiable can absolutely wreck havoc in an innocent family’s life.
It is unfortunate that you believe that Halachas that you don’t like and disagree with — such as Mesira — should be disregarded and ignored.