Huju: Remember that people don’t always tell the truth on the Internet, and that people pretend to be people they are not. In fact, if I remember correctly, Joseph himself has posted under various different names in the CR, and once the Mods realized it, they often just put “Joseph” as his subtitle. I don’t believe he’s actually a kiruv professional. For all we know, the other person on this thread agreeing with Joseph is also Joseph. Yes, if it were true it would be shocking.
Of course, people should never marry a non-Jew with the expectation that they were convert, and I’ve never heard of an Orthodox community where this is common (of course, it’s common among the heterdox). It’s wrong in the first place, and most of the time it wouldn’t work out. (Anyway, we’re not talking about people raised Orthodox here — we’re talking about secular Jews who marry non-Jews.)
But sometimes a non-Jew married to a Jew decides on their own they want to convert, and if the spouse is willing to become a BT (perhaps usually they’re not, but when they are), then it works out. The same goes for the convert: if secular-Jew-turned-wannabe-BT is married to a non-Jew, sometimes she learns about Yiddishkeit and decides she wants to convert for the right reason. No beis din will convert someone under such circumstances unless the non-Jew can honestly say she is making a lifetime commitment to Yiddishkeit and will remain totally frum even if they later divorce. In such cases, they are thus not converting for the sake of marriage, they are converting l’shem shamayim.
All I’m saying is that a new BT should not immediately leave his non-Jewish wife, since it makes sense to give her time to see if she will decide she wants to commit to accepting the yoke of the mitzvos. The same goes for new BTs married to secular Jews — don’t ditch her right away just because she’s reluctant to all of the sudden move to Boro Park, put on a sheitel and start going to the mikvah every month. Rash, hasty decisions often result in less than desirable results. In fact, Rav Arush counsels against divorce at all in such situations (BTs married to Jews) (as explained at length in his acclaimed marriage manual, Garden of Peace.)