Modesty – I haven’t read all your posts, but based on the ones I’ve read, I think you really need to read Gila Manolson’s books and listen to Rav Orlosfsky’s cd.
However, I’m not sure if that will be enough.
I am a bit concerned about the way you seem to enjoy dressing untziusly and the attention you get from it. What bothers me is the fact that you assume that this is “normal” and that everyone feels that way.
There actually are many people who don’t feel that way. In fact, I think that most people I know would find that kind of attention demeaning. It may be normal to struggle with tznius to some extent, but it seems to me that if someone has such a pull to dress untzniusly and has such a strong need for that kind of attention, it might be kidai for them to look into themselves and try to figure out why they have this need and if there is another way they could fulfill it.