Joseph. If this is merely a question of semantics, I don’t know how important that is, as long as we know the essence of the relationship even if we don’t know exactly what word to use. I will say however, that since we say the bracha Asher boro sason vesimcha …. VERAYUS (which means friendship), and presumably it’s talking about what elements should be present in the marriage, it is therefore important to define what is the essance of that rayus. The person from shul or school may be fun company, but that doesn’t mean they won’t betray you at the smallest whim of theirs, and it certainly doesn;t mean that they care and will go out of their way for you. I can’t imagine that just the fun is enough to be worthy of the title rayus – friendship. My definition of friend isn’t applicable only to a spouse. It’s applicable to any person’s who genuinely cares. That is true friendship. Even if they don’t enjoy the same recreational activities. We find that a person who learns Torah lishma becomes a person who cares genuinely about others, as we say in Pirkay Avos (6,1) that such a person who learns Torah lishma is in fact called a raya (friend). Do you think it means that this person will join you to golf? It’s important to be able to assess who your real friends are.
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