This question cannot be answered in generality. There are likely disrespectful young men. There are also those fathers-in-law that fail to earn the respect. It is true that sons-in-law have the same obligation to be respectful of the shver regardless. But when the shver is making a claim, seeking this respect, the question must be asked whether he deserves it.
One would assume that Bnei Torah should know better. That is for an ideal world, to which we should strive. Sadly, the average Ben Torah is not provided the guidance to develop good midos. The typical mussar seder in yeshiva tends to be academic, not how to implement. This is likely the result of yeshivos being as large as they are, impeding the goal of providing individual attention to develop one’s potential.