Of course I’m from the “bubbie/zeidy” generation, but when I see young people getting engaged after 5 dates I really feel afraid for them. The dating situation is artificial, but if you see someone enough times you’ll get some sort of idea about how they think and react.
No amount of “research” by the parents can make up for the young people actually observing each other over time. Many times issues are concealed or ignored, or things which are not really issues but just slightly nonconformist are magnified. And what’s a perfect match for one person may be a “no-go” for someone else. Is ten dates too much? I think it ought to be the minimum.
How many young couples have to wind up in beis din before we re-think the system?