JJ2020, no one is being “forced” to do anything. That would create a Get Me’usa (invalid Get). The men are freely giving the Gittin (Gets) because they want to. Yes, if they don’t, there’s penalties. Yes, to escape the penalties, they’re giving the Gittin voluntarily. It’s halachic. Holding the man over of vat of boiling oil would be cruel and unusual and not halachic. But the sages have ruled financial incentives make the arrangement voluntary and willful. Women have more discretion to refuse the Get. At least in the cases I’ve been involved with, I can only speak from personal experience, it’s usually the women who want the divorce; not the men.
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