Shopping613,
I completely agree with you that there is no way for anyone to know another person’s cheshbonos and challenges, regardless of background. I must point out, however, that there is no comparison between cousins, uncles and nephews, or even grandparents and grandchildren, to parents and children. Everyone will have to refuse or explain something awkward to his non-frum relative or neighbor at some point, but that is very different from a son, anguished but knowing it must be done, having to comfort his weeping mother who realizes that he cannot come to her home for Pesach sedarim anymore.