@think 2 I can definitely relate. I went to a yeshiva that was very strict and, at least for me, too strict. I begged my parents to let me change yeshivos but they thought I was just being too easy on myself. They now regret that decision.
I have trauma from the experience and I definitely have “guilt” whenever I do things like listen to the news on the radio, eat at a restaurant, etc… all such things were strictly ASSUR in yeshiva.
There is a LOT more to articulate here…but simply put, YES I CAN RELATE.