Post 5:
In case anyone was wondering, women usually care about practical things and I am not an exception. Why is all of this very clear to me?
Because we were learning in class about Hashem and how all the Sefiros etc are only applicable to the world of atzilus. After that, any description is a limitation. At some point, perhaps above kesser, Even saying He is unlimited is a limitation – He cannot be limited…
Thinking about this I got very upset. I realized that based on this, all the davening and personal relationship, appreciation for hashgacha protis and personal miracles etc, are all limited to a superficial (relatively speaking) and that means that I can only relate to Hashem on a superficial level, but we can’t be intimate on a core level. That got me really upset and I burst into tears. Eventually, thinking about it, I realized that that’s where emuna comes in, and that’s how we relate to Hashem on a higher more intimate level as well. At that. I calmed down.
By hp a few days later. I learned this idea in derech mitzvosecha when the Tzemach Tzedek was discussing the difference between the mitzvos of yedias and Emunas Hashem as explained above