Thanks for the welcome back.
To take last things first (I’ve already started with your very last line), there is a big difference between accepting what people do in times of stress or anguish and saying that what they do is proper. This is one of the explanations of the statement of “avel ein lo peh” – a mourner doesn’t have a mouth. We can’t blame him for saying things that should not have been said, but it doesn’t mean that he’s right in doing so. As we see in the Gemara that even someone doing nichum aveilim is not allowed to say, “What can be done?” as it implies that if we could do something we would do it despite Hashem having decreed otherwise.
Back to the original issue: regardless of the pain they may have felt, lama nigara is NOT a demand. It is a question?
CS, you may be doing fantastic work in your chabad house etc but please realize that the rest of the coffee room – at least those who aren’t Lubavichers – won’t just accept the fact that your rebbe said something as a valid source. So please, if you want to convince us that DEMANDING Mashiach is the correct thing to do, quote us a non-Lubavich source.
I understand that a Lubavich source is good enough for you, but it’s not good enough for you to get us to agree.