There was a story in the 5 Towns Jewish Times by Rabbi Hoffman that dealt with the subject of the outwardly frum. Yanky was considered a great catch. Twelve years in the best local yeshiva followed by two years of learning in one of the top Israeli yeshiva’s. So, his wife was shocked when, by accident, she discovered that he was spending each morning having breakfast at a non kosher coffee shop, not at minyan. His wife pleaded with Rabbi Hoffman to find out why. Yanky told the Rabbi that he had no feelings for yiddiskeit. Yes , he had learned for 14 years but his studies had focused virtually exclusively on the Gemara. He never had any classes that dealt with emunah, davening, or how to relate to Hashem unless it was tangenital to a sugya he was learning. It left him indifferent to being religious. So, on Friday night he would go to shul with his sons, come home, make kiddush, sing zmiros and, after his wife and kids were asleep, go to the basement and watch basketball games on his laptop. He didn’t see it as a contradiction and added he wasn’t alone among his friends who felt that way.
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