I think the main question here is whether or not someone should go through all the effort, time, money, and all that goes along with this, if we see so many cases where we get very discouraged by the possible outcome for better or for worse. I actually read an article a few weeks ago in The Lakewood Shopper where they interviewed Rabbi Shmuli Kahan from Yerushalayim who I never met but I had a neighbor who learned by him a few years ago so thats how it caught my eye and he put it down very well. I even saved it. He said that “By being in a proper yeshiva atmosphere, and for the girls as well being in a proper seminary setting, will allow the students to feel that they are in a new “home away from home”. Now I know for sure that many bochrim and girls get that sense of being so far from home they cant properly settle their feelings in the way that can help them grow and make this time of year the most important part of their future lives. Then he wrote the key factor which I think might help this ever lasting issue that has always been a huge topic even when I was there 23 years ago. He wrote that “if the parents trust the son, and the son trusts the yeshiva, and the yeshiva trusts the parents to partner with them, everyone can be confident that the bochur will be learning and growing and will be meeting his expectations”. Now I really like how he put it down so clearly that all the problems that are seeing is really coming us by ourselves. If we all step up to the plate and be proper parents and educators and trust each other and ourselves, the kids will follow through. I think we are the ones that need some maturing to do and well be sure to have a lot of nachas from all our children and all of klal yisrael. We should be zoche to the geula sheleima bimheira biyameinu amen
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