You should reach out to get the help your husband needs, whether it’s a Rav or GYE. If your husband wants to change he will when he gets help. If he doesn’t want to change there’s nothing you can do. You then have two options, if he still wants to stay, you can keep the family intact which it can be exceptionally hard living with such a husband, but it’s a better environment for the kids where you can control the environment way more than if you take the second option which is divorce.
Remember, ultimately there’s nothing you could do to prevent him from living the life he wants, it’s his bechira.
I feel your pain and hopelessness. Stay strong and may you have a complete yeshiah.