@rational -“For those insisting on a full-time-long-term-learning-boy:
I wonder why a young woman would insist (all or nothing?) on a parameter that she cannot possibly verify with any reasonable degree of confidence.”
Why can you not verify it – does the boy learn in Yeshivah – check with his Rosh Hayeshiva, his Rebbes, and Chavroses. How well does he learn. What is his level of learning. Does he learn the full sedorim or miss some. Does he go to the Shiur everyday or miss some. Does he learn on a Friday or Shabbos afternoon when there is no seder? etc.
What is his academic ability- check with the schools/chadorim he went to.
– Does he plan to learn in Kolel, which Kolel? Does he plan to learn in Eretz Yisroel – where in Eretz Yisroel? Has he a place in Kolel?, check with the Rosh Kolel that it is true.
– You are right you can not know it a 100% but there is some hishtadlus to be made. I once asked about a certain Bochur and his Rosh Yeshivah said it is true he is in the yeshivah, but he has yet to show up in the Bies Hamedresh, 6 weeks into the zeman. The yeshivah was a BT yeshivah and there was no pressure put on the bochurim to learn!