“Its not more likely that these kids have issues than a kid who was bullied in school, or had a parent with personality issues (and didnt get divorced), or was spoiled and is therefore lazy and entitled, or had an older sibling who picked on them, or got zero attention from parents, etc etc.”
You made this up. However, yes, when researching a shidduch one should try and make sure the prospective match is emotionally healthy.
“Most kids have semi-traumatic emotional experiences. So divorce doesn’t have to be worse then all the other experiences.”
You also made this up. Divorce isn’t a “semi-traumatic experience” it is fully traumatic. A child’s life as they know it is being ripped apart and usually not in a pleasant way.
“once a young woman/man has been by a good therapist for a few years you can definitely assume he/she has reversed whichever negative effects/impressions they got from their parents.”
Assuming someone is emotionally healthy after knowing they went through a traumatic emotional experience is a terrible idea.