Yitzhakb:
“You do not need a shidduch you need a husband. Try this:
Make a list of what you think is your ideal shidduch. Put it aside. 48 hours later make a list of what you want in a husband and would be father of your children (ken yirbu). Then compare the two. It’s your perspective that is important in getting married.”
That is great advice. I think it does help to think of what you would want in a husband and father of your children.
For both girls and boys: the earlier you start dating, the better. There’s really no way around this. It’s not the fault of “the system”. I find it annoying when people start blaming “the system” for their lack of success. Biologically, the younger you are, the more attractive you are to the opposite sex. It’s how Hashem made us. We are meant to marry early. Hashem is in charge of the world. Not us. Stop trying to fight it. There is a reason it is the way it is. If Hashem wanted us to marry when we are old, then he would have had us age in reverse.
Start early and you won’t regret it.