Thank you iyk,
I don’t know how to deal well with praise (I have my own demons to take care of)
On the topic of R Akiva’s emotional pain he got up from the deaths of his 24,000 talmidim while not questioning Hashem and accepting that כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד whether it was physical or emotional
Everything, and I mean everything, happens for our benefit (Hashem is the טוב ומיטב לכל and absolutely nothing happens outside of His will)