I wonder — why do you seek out other autistics? To revel in certain behavior?
Many of us are either on the spectrum or have certain conditions like ADHD (like me). But wouldn’t it be better to seek out the mainstream in order to learn to manage certain behaviors?
Yes, people on the spectrum might understand each other better, or share certain challenges. But if you’re both lacking in social skills, for example, what do you gain by similar company? If I’m learning a foreign language, for example, I’d rather be around a native speaker than a fellow newbie, who has to struggle to construct basic sentences or learn the culture.
In my youth I was considered a weird kid, who was ostracized (and painfully bullied). I realize now why. Certainly no one should be abused (and the more vicious ones also had problems). However, no one should simply be allowed to get away with certain behaviors either. Having whatever disorder does not give anyone license to be silly and infantile.
Don’t be so sure that a more modern or diluted Orthodox community will be accepting either. I don’t expect to fit in everywhere, but if I fit in nowhere, then the problem is me, not the community.