It is a reciprocal relationshps as I mentioned the Targum Yonasan in Breishis (25,67) says that Yitzchqk Avinu married Rivkah and got to love her because of her outstanding and beatiful deeds. Kepanim el panim, feeling his love, she gets to love him. Love is a feeling, so we can’t have e mitzva. You cannot force something that comes from the heart. We muet do this that cause it and contribute to it.
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