AAQ.. Good points but perhaps its my clumsy use of terminology. A rav or askan may not be “doing an averah” nor will he always be aware that the type of behavior described by common saychel in his OP and others posters may have caused pain or stress to the aveilim (or in the other context, embarrassed baaeli simcha). Neither the OP nor subsequent posters in this thread suggested that this happens on a “regular basis” but this kind of stuff DOES happen. I would imagine that the immediate remedy is generally to focus on providing support and comfort for the aveilim and not to confront or give musar to the offender.
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