ujm, we are talking about girls from our heimishe communities, not some hillbillies from the South who do not have normal functioning families and have extra-familial relationships. Just because these kind marriages used to work for them 100+ years ago does not mean that it works today. 95% of these marriages are a total failure with disfunctioning and broken families.
Today we need strong marriages. Girls and boys need to have an understanding of themselves and what they are looking for a spouse. Of course, working on our middos is extremely important, that is the basis for a successful marriage. But before that, it is important for bucharim and girls to know what type of frum family lifestyle they want and to be mature enough to marry.