These are real, valid concerns, and i hear where you’re coming from. The daughters of tzelofchod felt the same way when they said that they didn’t want to lose their father’s ancestral right upon marriage. Last names might be from goyim, but the idea of maintaining the dignity and remembrance of “bais abba” is most certainly not. And since we all use last names, it’s natural to associate them with your father’s house and your family in general.
I wish I could say that these concerns justify keeping your last name. If we lived in a world without feminism and the encroaching influences of the outside world that threaten us from within and without on a daily basis, then by all means! There are some countries where this is the norm, especially most south american and latin countries. But in our country, keeping the last bame or even hyphenating it is a statement that one communicates as a follower of feminist attitudes. Feminism objected to taking the man’s name because they felt it diminished their individualism and that it implied that husband and wife were not equal partners. The first part….yes, in many places in America, women would look at themselves as just extensions of their husbands. In the south, women would (and still) refer to themselves by saying “hi, my name is Mrs adam smith”. This was bot the Torah’s viewpoint. However neither is it Torah to believe that men and women are equal partners in a marriage. Feminism, as I’m sure you’re aware, is very anti Torah, anti family, and anti social.
So to distance our community – which is on the brink of influence from feminism – from alien attacks on our beliefs, it is the necessary choice to forego the last name. Let your family’s remembrance be in the ehrliche children you raise and your own personal avodas Hashem. Kein yehu ratzon