IMHO, with a stress on the “H”, the reason for all the unnecessary stress people experience in shidduchim is because the tzibbur has moved further and further away from how Yiddishe shidduchim have been done for time immemorial. When Tattes were Tattes and when kinderlach were kinder, two Tattes would get together and agree that my Yankel in Cheder is a perfect match for your Shaindel in your Yiddishe shteeb. A few years after the Bar Mitzvah we’ll make a nice little chasuna, with the Seudas Mitzvah on Friday night after Shabbos davening.
I don’t know if we can get all the way back to that ideal, though that should be the goal certainly, but surely we should move back as close to the above scenario as practical and feasible.