“I’m a big fan of mussar, but sometimes it’s a bit too much…”
Agreed. I always felt guilty running off to the Kiddush Club on shabbos בְּחֻקֹּתַי while the baal koreh was reading the Tocheichah (which I generally couldn’t hear anyway). I’ve also given up on my original aspirations to become the official baal musar for members of the Club.