> there are also times that true respect calls for a shorter and more direct statement
this is fine theory. In practice, most cases call for more respect. But as usual, somehow the first instinct in bein adam l’havero is to find an excuse why not. Not healthy. If you train yourself to always talk properly, then you will struggle to shout about fire at your parent. This is akin to Igeret Ramban: train yourself to speak quietly at normal moments, and then you come control yourself in a moment of anger.