Kuvult,
“I’m not sure where the argument even is. In my OP I said … I learned the correct Derech is to place people into different groups based on certain criteria.”
The argument is because we sensed your sarcasm loud and clear. And you didn’t say certain criteria, you said petty little factors.
“The bigger question is why do you all at some level feel uncomfortable with it that you feel the need to justify or defend it?”
Reduction fallacy. There may be more reasons people are responding than discomfort.