n0 > The concept that there is an outside understanding of what he should be like may get in the way.
I think I understand it now. Beautiful idea. I am not sure I agree. Respect to talmid chacham extends to his wife. I don’t think T’Ch wife is an outsider. She is a full partner.
In practice, when interacting with spouses in teaching, both positive and negative effects on children are usually similar from both spouses. When they were different, I think, wife would be a better teacher more often than other way around, but I think the general biological rule holds here too: males have more distribution of every quality, thus having more on a better tail of the distribution, but also more in the worse.