Always_Ask_Questions,
“I would ask a _competent_ Rav whether to inform the parents.”
Agreed.
“On the other hand, they are failing and it is not clear that doubling-down will help.”
So if you feel the parents aren’t perfect, it justifies disempowering them? And who then gets the responsibility for the child? The state? The child himself?
“For example, if kids break through filters on a computer and parents discover it: if they close the break or confront the kid, he will find another way and parents will never know about it. It may be a better idea to monitor the break and see whether this is benign or not.”
You think surreptitiously spying on a child’s rule-breaking online activities is a better parenting approach than direct conversation about what’s going on? I can’t say I agree.
“So, in this case, maybe a Rav and friends can help the kid using some other approach instead of encouraging parents to follow the path that is failing. For example, maybe the kid has questions that need to be answered, or he needs more warmth and understanding.”
Perhaps, but it is the role of the parents to make that decision, is it not?