While we’re on the subject of shidducim, I met my wife on Jwed. After meeting with several top shadchanim suggested to me by rebbeim and friends, I realized rather quickly they weren’t interested in giving me the time of day (perhaps because I lost a parent as a teenager and don’t have an extensive social status or extended family). One shadchan who kept feeding my inbox with the most ridiculous resumes messaged me the same day I was engaged and asked who the shadchan was…
Sometimes only you know best, especially if no one else could care about your shidduch prospects.
There’s also more to my shidduch story, and there was tremendous hashgacha from Hashem on many occasions. But I just wanted to show that for some, it really is necessary to go and look for a wife on their own