Why not – what is more important – mitzvos bein adm l’Hashem or l’havero? (or l’ atzmo as some also count). I don’t have enough time to do all of them, please advise should I drop the tefillin or the grandma?
Yes, we sometimes have emergencies when one needs to prioritize – and possibly inward approach was appropriate in pre-WW2 Europe and post-WWs US and Israel. Other approaches, including some non-extreme MO types led to assimilation. But, we can’t continue an emergency for more than 100 years. Many, not all, maybe a minority ( should be a respected minority) is capable of walking and chewing gum, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Just because your kid is not capable of handling college and having a profession, does not mean that you should teach him to hate the doctors and engineers who help you have a comfortable life.