to reduce social pressure we ALL should act accordingly.
I know Rabonim who only come briefly and never it – even if they are in charge of kashrus. If more people will limit their attendance to dancing and mesameach hasan v’kalah, there will be food – AND DRINKS – left after every wedding, then maybe people will start scaling down. Or at least, the hasan vekallah will have enough food for a month.
As to collecting for life after the wedding – that is why we had in older times a year when the hasan was supposed to find a place to live and the kalah get her dresses in order.