Dear Eidele,
Here is what you can do. Review, review, and review! Whatever you want to discuss, prepare it so well that you would not need to look inside to confirm how you understood it. Know the words that gave you your insight verbatim. The yeshivishe mehalech puts it’s preference on the key words of what is being understood. If you know exactly which words moved you to your conclusions, you would reach the conlusion of most of your interactions much faster. This would cut out a lot of the fighting.